Pipe Dreams…

Have you ever wished for something that was gone after you became a parent? What’s that old saying? “If wishes were horses?” Not sure but oh, do I have wishes, dreams, hopes… You get the idea.

As a mommy, and a special needs mommy, I never seem to have a minute to myself. With Colt, I need to be in the room for if and more likely when he has a seizure. This is my reality, and I have made peace with it. His needs are a lot more important than some of my own. We are lucky enough to have nursing for 18 hours a day during the week. It truly is a blessing. If he were my only kiddo, I could get so much done and enough sleep too! I miss uninterrupted sleep. I really do. Since Kitten was born, I have not gotten a full night of uninterrupted sleep. 

I may miss it, but I am not really complaining either. I wanted kids and mommies are notorious for not getting enough sleep. Time for myself, on the other hand? Yes, I complain loud and clear!!! I’m not asking much, just alone time to take a shower, or heaven forbid, use the toilet without one of my little darlings knocking at the door, or barging right in. Please! Just two minutes to allow mommy to pee in peace!!!!!!! 

I have to get either Kitten or Archer to watch Colt, make sure they know to watch for seizures, and how to suction him and swipe the magnet for his VNS implant to stop the seizures. I then have to try and sneak passed Cowboy and make for the bathroom. It is as pathetic as it sounds. Almost every time I do this, I get caught. The six-year old wants a snack, his big brother is being mean and won’t allow to snack he wants, he misses mommy and wants to come with me. The list goes on and on. The nursing helps, I can get some sort of sleep, maybe a quick shower after bedtime. But it seems the only time I am allowed bathroom time is when everyone is asleep. 

On top of this less then humorous comedy shtick, I cyber school Kitten, Archer, and Cowboy. They are in the house with mommy all day long. Luckily, my babies are rocking their school work. (Proud Mommy Dance!) I love having them home with me, but again, no private time. I even get one kiddo to watch Colt, and the other two seem to wait until that moment to find the need to chat with me. Sigh, I admit that it really is a small issue, but it is important to me… I even know that I’ll miss it when they move on and start their own lives, and have their own kiddos. I can only wish, hope, and dream that when that happens, they get their privacy stolen from them, like they stole mine from me! Hahaha!!!!😋



Hi, I'm Mags. I'm stay at home mommy of four. I cyber school three of my kids (yes I am crazy!), and my one son goes to a special class for children with multiple disabilities. It's a crazy, chaotic life, but it's my life.

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